


Don't you forget about me.

by bend_me_shape_me



Series: one-word prompts [13]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Destiel if you squint - Freeform, F/M, Season/Series 12, i suffer, post eileen's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 05:00:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16906569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bend_me_shape_me/pseuds/bend_me_shape_me
Summary: I miss Eileen everyday, and I will always love her, that's all.My tumblr ❤





	Don't you forget about me.

He feels sad these days, he is mourning a loss, not of what was lived, but the loss of what could have been but never was, because they took her away from him too soon. She didn’t deserve what happened to her, she brought light to this sad world full of death and pain. but he always loses the ones close to him, doesn’t him? 

He thinks about her everyday, about her long, soft brown hair, about her smile, her beautiful honest eyes, He thinks about those lips he regrets don’t having kissed when he had the chance.

He misses her, their talks, seeing her face. She was funny, kind and brave, she was clever and had an infinite patience with him when he told her he wanted to learn sign language. He was all he could think about when he told his brother about finding someone who understood their life.

He didn’t get the letter on time, he wonders if he could have saved her.

Earth keeps spinning, the cases don’t stop coming, and the world is always in danger, so Sam lives his life like he always did before Eileen, now he only tries really hard to ignore the void she left behind.

He hunts, he researches, he eats, he sleeps, he goes running, he does the same things he used to do, and now he also daydreams.

He imagines what being with Eileen would have been like, imagines their first date, and the jokes Dean would have probably told him for being so nervous about it. He thinks about their first kiss, he wonders how would it have been to have her with them, he wonder how a future together could have been, if they would have stopped hunting, or if they would have started their own family. He would have loved to have more time, to know her, to learn everything about her, and to love her a little bit more with each passing day. 

He tells his brother what he learned from this at every chance he has.

‘’We have to enjoy what we have, love the ones that are close to us, never lose the chance to say what we feel. We shouldn’t waste the time we have here.’’ And Dean always brushes him off, telling him he knows, but Sam knows he understands, and agrees, he just hopes he is brave to give that step forwards and take a risk. Sam knows, by his own experience, how much it hurts to love and lose, he knows Dean knows this too, but it hurts more to know that you lost that someone you could have share your life with without them knowing what you felt for them.

So, yeah, he is sad, he tries his best, but he can’t help but to imagine, to dream and to remember the short time Eileen was in his life. Everything between them was quite, calmed, but also made his heart beat faster and his stomach tremble with a thousand butterflies.

He is thinking about one of the last conversations they had when he feels a light tap on his shoulder. Cas is standing next to him, wearing one of Dean’s pajamas.

‘’Hey Cas.’’ He smiles weakly, the angel hands him a couple of tea, and sits down across from him, cradling his own mug between his hands.

‘’How are you, Sam?’’

‘’I’m okay, Cas.’’ Cas stares at him sceptically. He doesn’t say anything but Sam can’t stand the look he is giving him, in fact Sam can’t understand how his brother can’t stand it, it’s like Cas can see into his very soul, what probably he can do.’’ Okay, I have been better, but it’s just that I miss her. It’s not fair that she had to end like that Cas.’’ Cas’ expression softens.

‘’I know, Sam.’’ The angel reaches for his hand and pats it gently.’’ There are few things I can tell you, you have gone through this enough times to know that only time can heal this kind of wounds. But, Sam, you aren’t alone on this. You have Dean and you have me.’’

‘’I know, Cas. Thank you.’’ He is right, he isn’t alone, it will always hurt, but he has to keep going.

‘’Here you are!’’ Dean appears in the room and smiles when he spots Cas, he pats his shoulder before looking at his brother.’’Hey Sam, we were going to watch a movie, do you want to watch it too?’’

He isn’t really paying attention to the movie or to the silly comments Dean keeps making to get Cas to laugh, but he is feeling better than he has felt for weeks, he is sitting down between Cas, who clearly still  doesn't get the personal space stuff and is pressed against him, but Sam isn't going to tell anything because he needed comfort; Dean is on his other side passing him the bowl full of popcorns from time to time.

Sam smiles softly, the road ahead of them isn't an easy one, he knows he lost a chance to be happy, to give someone all his love, but he isn't on his own, he will keep fighting for what is right.

That night, when they finally go to bed he stares blankly at the ceiling for a while. He thinks about Eileen, and he makes a promise. He isn't going to forget her, and he will do his best to tell about her to other hunters, she was excepcional, an example for all of them and he is sure her memory will help him and many other hunters to keep saving lides.

**Author's Note:**

> I miss Eileen everyday, and I will always love her, that's all. My tumblr ❤


End file.
